Crazy girls on the Internet

A couple of years ago, playing some game, I started talking with a girl the same age as I. She seemed like a fun going person, someone who had hardships in life but was fine with the life she was living. Anyways, she had met this guy on the Internet that she had feelings for, and as I understand it he was playing in to that also. One day this guy just stopped talking with her and kind of diapered. Yes, it wasn´t the nicest way he did this on but there had never been an illusion of that it was anything but an Internet thing, and most people would perhaps been a bit hurt about the whole thing and left it at that. This girl though, no no that wasn´t enough for her and with the help of her aunt, (that worked with finding people and registering them), sought this guy out. She basically took the air plane to an other country and rang his doorbell! Both of them talked about this like it wasn´t breaching an other persons privacy at all. I´ve just one word CRAZY!

Balance within a relationship

When in a relationship it´s easy to go "me me me" mode, to forget that it´s not all about you. (Well that is easy for many people no matter if they are in a relationship or not.) My point is, that one should be aware of the fact that suffocating your partners wants and needs isn´t a great thing to do, and doing so will most likely end the relationship. (Well at least if you are dealing with with an Aries, hehe.)
So let´s take myself as an example. The past month I have consciously given my boyfriend extra space to let him do his things. I´ve made the effort to not really strike up conversation with him if I know he is in his creative space. I say this with a bit of laughter cause knowing when my boyfriend does anything, except for his fixed hours of working, is pretty much impossible. (Until now when he actually have put up a schedule of his hours/day on his blog, insert crazy stalker girlfriend picture here, hehe.)
I think it´s important to let each other grow and not having to spend every single free spare moment together. I think though that I was pretty good with this before also, since I myself like doing things on my own.
With this I´m not saying that one shoulden´t want to do things with ones partner or feeling bad by wanting their attention. Like yesterday I went "I want a call now, I don´t care if it´s late night for you, I "need", and I´m totally fine with feeling that way also, haha. I also know that most of the time I have I want to spend in the near vicinity of my partner and experience things with him, it´s just important to keep a balance.

Girls hating on girls

One girl walks past an other, girl makes "puking" signs behind her back. I am all for "girlpower" and advocate for that woman are just as good as men. Moments like this though I bow down my head in shame, because I have never ever seen a man do something similar.
If this is how we treat each other, how will we ever get the same status as men in the society?

Meeting the love of my life

I found myself sitting in a dark room, feeling no hunger or thirst, I was not to cold nor to warm. I knew some decisions were to be made and usually my mind was racing with thoughts but right now it was empty, I would describe it myself as an open ocean.
Suddenly the room started to seem brighter and I felt a warmth encompass me, (what this was I leave for the readers own interpretation). I also got a sense of what was to come, not in the form of words or pictures more so in form of a feeling.
At the time I was "speaking" with someone I cared for a lot and I got the feeling I needed to be there for him the next 6 months. I also felt that I later on, more specifically in February/March would find a sense of "weightless".
A couple of months passed and when I was told by the person I loved that he also loved other woman at the same time I could not walk away, even though that didn' t correlate with how I was feeling. In this person I felt such a strong energy and I was truly convinced that my earlier mentioned experience was not to just throw away, (perhaps that was something I needed for myself also, yes most likely so but that' s for an other time to tell). At this time I also figured that the feeling of being "Westleigh" had to do with him.
A couple of more months passed and when the new year had started I found that my feeling of what would happen with this person had come true, but I also found myself not being able to come in contact with him any longer, no matter how I tried, (why this was I am still not sure of and to be honest it doesn't matter). To be mentioned is that I play games online and often speak with people that way, I had also just started to speak with someone I will refer to as "mirror". "Mirror" because he was so a like me and I found that very interesting, considering him being a man and not even living in Europe, and to be honest I was "schoolgirl" crushing on him. (Sorry Dre, a lot of talk about other men here) So to say, to randomly start speak with someone on twitter wasn't to odd for me, when I first began to interact with my (now) boyfriend there. A year or two before that I remember watching one of his videos on YouTube, (sharecraft), and fangirling over it, back then though I would never ever had tried to speak with him, simply because I'm freaking shy and I had not yet then had my life changing experience. How all of this took place I will how ever leave for an other time, maybe we will do a pod cast together on it one day, it's all rather funny.
In my man, I can tell you though, I found an incredible warm and bright energy, I could simply not deny how it made me feel. Before that, people I met either drained me of energy or filled me to much or didn't make a difference at all, and now it was the first time my energy in contact with someone else's gave me perfect balance. I had found my "weightless". (On time even, hehe) He is my "home", the one I will spend the rest of my life with. The love, our love is so strong. For being a world a part I feel connected to him like no one else and from being adopted Sri Lanka- Sweden, a chance in a million, to this, I'm going with it! I have never been more certain of anything, then that he and I are meant to be.

Inappropriate jokes 

Many times, following people on YouTube or reading their blogs, I wish they would never have had opened their mouths and voiced their opinion about different things. I guess it´s because often I´ve pictured to myself how these persons are/should be and then when they do something that totally stand in contrast with my beliefs about the person in question I get the "OH NO" feeling, "I can not
follow this person anymore" thought.
I got reminded about this the other day when the news about Robbie Williams was released, just a few hours after, someone I follow on YouTube made an really inappropriate joke about it, and even after getting pointed out by many that it was, he still didn´t see anything wrong with it. I feel that
you can joke about most things but to joke about this, someones death, (a family in mourning), especially that soon, is a big "NO" to me. I actually unfollowed this person after this event.

Aunt

Before meeting my nephew for the first time, I was a bit scared it would evoke some maternal instinct in me and make my body crave a child of my own, as soon as I held him, (yes things like these are what I´m scared of haha). Anyways after coming home, making a cup of tea and starting my computer, I felt more certain then ever that I do not want children of my own. It was like that decisions sank in even deeper, made itself at home and to me that was a relief. I know fully that what I am doing right now in my life is exactly what I am supposed to be doing.
I am extremely happy to be this little ones aunt though.

Hot temper

 

I have a hot temper, less so then a couple of years ago but still. The difference these days is that I´m in such a good balance, not much can put me off. Not going to lie though, sometimes I can still fire up instantly, like yesterday, when I got disappointed by something and got angry. But when I had thought about the situation for five minutes, I realized that I can never control someone else, what they say or do, and I had to acknowledge the fact that the only thing I can control is myself. I can choice to react a certain way, and after that I felt at peace.