Crazy girls on the Internet

A couple of years ago, playing some game, I started talking with a girl the same age as I. She seemed like a fun going person, someone who had hardships in life but was fine with the life she was living. Anyways, she had met this guy on the Internet that she had feelings for, and as I understand it he was playing in to that also. One day this guy just stopped talking with her and kind of diapered. Yes, it wasn´t the nicest way he did this on but there had never been an illusion of that it was anything but an Internet thing, and most people would perhaps been a bit hurt about the whole thing and left it at that. This girl though, no no that wasn´t enough for her and with the help of her aunt, (that worked with finding people and registering them), sought this guy out. She basically took the air plane to an other country and rang his doorbell! Both of them talked about this like it wasn´t breaching an other persons privacy at all. I´ve just one word CRAZY!

Balance within a relationship

When in a relationship it´s easy to go "me me me" mode, to forget that it´s not all about you. (Well that is easy for many people no matter if they are in a relationship or not.) My point is, that one should be aware of the fact that suffocating your partners wants and needs isn´t a great thing to do, and doing so will most likely end the relationship. (Well at least if you are dealing with with an Aries, hehe.)
So let´s take myself as an example. The past month I have consciously given my boyfriend extra space to let him do his things. I´ve made the effort to not really strike up conversation with him if I know he is in his creative space. I say this with a bit of laughter cause knowing when my boyfriend does anything, except for his fixed hours of working, is pretty much impossible. (Until now when he actually have put up a schedule of his hours/day on his blog, insert crazy stalker girlfriend picture here, hehe.)
I think it´s important to let each other grow and not having to spend every single free spare moment together. I think though that I was pretty good with this before also, since I myself like doing things on my own.
With this I´m not saying that one shoulden´t want to do things with ones partner or feeling bad by wanting their attention. Like yesterday I went "I want a call now, I don´t care if it´s late night for you, I "need", and I´m totally fine with feeling that way also, haha. I also know that most of the time I have I want to spend in the near vicinity of my partner and experience things with him, it´s just important to keep a balance.

Girls hating on girls

One girl walks past an other, girl makes "puking" signs behind her back. I am all for "girlpower" and advocate for that woman are just as good as men. Moments like this though I bow down my head in shame, because I have never ever seen a man do something similar.
If this is how we treat each other, how will we ever get the same status as men in the society?

Meeting the love of my life

I found myself sitting in a dark room, feeling no hunger or thirst, I was not to cold nor to warm. I knew some decisions were to be made and usually my mind was racing with thoughts but right now it was empty, I would describe it myself as an open ocean.
Suddenly the room started to seem brighter and I felt a warmth encompass me, (what this was I leave for the readers own interpretation). I also got a sense of what was to come, not in the form of words or pictures more so in form of a feeling.
At the time I was "speaking" with someone I cared for a lot and I got the feeling I needed to be there for him the next 6 months. I also felt that I later on, more specifically in February/March would find a sense of "weightless".
A couple of months passed and when I was told by the person I loved that he also loved other woman at the same time I could not walk away, even though that didn' t correlate with how I was feeling. In this person I felt such a strong energy and I was truly convinced that my earlier mentioned experience was not to just throw away, (perhaps that was something I needed for myself also, yes most likely so but that' s for an other time to tell). At this time I also figured that the feeling of being "Westleigh" had to do with him.
A couple of more months passed and when the new year had started I found that my feeling of what would happen with this person had come true, but I also found myself not being able to come in contact with him any longer, no matter how I tried, (why this was I am still not sure of and to be honest it doesn't matter). To be mentioned is that I play games online and often speak with people that way, I had also just started to speak with someone I will refer to as "mirror". "Mirror" because he was so a like me and I found that very interesting, considering him being a man and not even living in Europe, and to be honest I was "schoolgirl" crushing on him. (Sorry Dre, a lot of talk about other men here) So to say, to randomly start speak with someone on twitter wasn't to odd for me, when I first began to interact with my (now) boyfriend there. A year or two before that I remember watching one of his videos on YouTube, (sharecraft), and fangirling over it, back then though I would never ever had tried to speak with him, simply because I'm freaking shy and I had not yet then had my life changing experience. How all of this took place I will how ever leave for an other time, maybe we will do a pod cast together on it one day, it's all rather funny.
In my man, I can tell you though, I found an incredible warm and bright energy, I could simply not deny how it made me feel. Before that, people I met either drained me of energy or filled me to much or didn't make a difference at all, and now it was the first time my energy in contact with someone else's gave me perfect balance. I had found my "weightless". (On time even, hehe) He is my "home", the one I will spend the rest of my life with. The love, our love is so strong. For being a world a part I feel connected to him like no one else and from being adopted Sri Lanka- Sweden, a chance in a million, to this, I'm going with it! I have never been more certain of anything, then that he and I are meant to be.

Inappropriate jokes 

Many times, following people on YouTube or reading their blogs, I wish they would never have had opened their mouths and voiced their opinion about different things. I guess it´s because often I´ve pictured to myself how these persons are/should be and then when they do something that totally stand in contrast with my beliefs about the person in question I get the "OH NO" feeling, "I can not
follow this person anymore" thought.
I got reminded about this the other day when the news about Robbie Williams was released, just a few hours after, someone I follow on YouTube made an really inappropriate joke about it, and even after getting pointed out by many that it was, he still didn´t see anything wrong with it. I feel that
you can joke about most things but to joke about this, someones death, (a family in mourning), especially that soon, is a big "NO" to me. I actually unfollowed this person after this event.

Aunt

Before meeting my nephew for the first time, I was a bit scared it would evoke some maternal instinct in me and make my body crave a child of my own, as soon as I held him, (yes things like these are what I´m scared of haha). Anyways after coming home, making a cup of tea and starting my computer, I felt more certain then ever that I do not want children of my own. It was like that decisions sank in even deeper, made itself at home and to me that was a relief. I know fully that what I am doing right now in my life is exactly what I am supposed to be doing.
I am extremely happy to be this little ones aunt though.

Hot temper

 

I have a hot temper, less so then a couple of years ago but still. The difference these days is that I´m in such a good balance, not much can put me off. Not going to lie though, sometimes I can still fire up instantly, like yesterday, when I got disappointed by something and got angry. But when I had thought about the situation for five minutes, I realized that I can never control someone else, what they say or do, and I had to acknowledge the fact that the only thing I can control is myself. I can choice to react a certain way, and after that I felt at peace.

Friendships

I love friends that I can that I can speak with every day without getting tired of them, but with that I also know that I don´t need to speak with them every day to keep the relationship alive. For example, my friend Martin. He is someone I´ve known for 10 years, maybe a bit less, and he is one of those friends were it can go months between us speaking, and then when we feel like it again we just pick up were ever we were last time we spoke.
I´ve always been like this with friends, and I guess the people that still are my friends understands this about me or they might actually feel the same way. Note that I would never ignore someone trying to speak with me or if someone that I care about doesn´t feel the same way I would try meet them half way.

Childhood toys

A while back, I coulden´t decide whether I was to consider myself lucky that I´ve all my childhood toys saved, stored away in my parents attic or if it just was really annoying that my parents saved them all. Fact is, that I had started to clean out some of them and I got the feeling that my parents thought I was throwing away a bit to much. Anyways, I was discussing this with my boyfriend and he said "if your parents want to save them in THEIR attic, it´s not really effecting you in any way, why care". Of course, I gave him some lame excuse, (cause well that´s just who I am - sorry älskling), but the thing is that he was right.
This whole thing was/is kind of trivial, but what I keep from it is that "letting go" is really one of the nicest feelings that exist. I will let my parents save all of my things if it makes them happy.

Friends crossing the line - sexual propositions 

The other night I was quietly minding my own business, watching LCS and drinking cold drinks, basically chilling in the summer heat, when I got a call. The call was from a friend, a drunk friend. Said should be, is that I´m an easy going person, I like to joke around and not take things to seriously. However, this friend fully stepped over the line, and said something that not only pissed me of but also gave me a really uncomfortable feeling. I understand friends getting a bit drunk and wanting to joke around, but to in detail describe what the person in question wanted to do with me in an adult way, was not okay in any way. I have zero tolerance for this and will not likely ever speak with this person again.
Lastly, why do people get so intoxicated that they don´t know any more how to behave?

Vegetarian cooking

For a good while now, I´ve not been able to stomach eating meat, and I´ve no idea why but I´m rolling with it.
Not being used to only cook vegetarian dishes I made the mistake of buying "soy meat", thinking "well it´s a good source of protein". How ever I really distaste the the flavor of it.
There fore I´ve the past weeks experimented with different vegetarian things to cook, my go to thing is absolutely different kind of pies, only down fault with them is it the fact that the pie dough in itself is´nt the most nutritious thing to eat, (I started to use whole wheat when making it though).

Right now, I also have a thing for chickpeas and I kind of just throw them in to anything I cook, like last night I made this little vegan friendly dish with rice... 

"Just the right skin tone"

In Swedish we have a word "lagom" that doesn´t really have an English translation, it means that something is in between, for example not to much food nor to little, just the right amount.
Anyways if you were told, or heard someone being told that they are just of the right skin tone, not to to dark in this scenario, how would you react? Would you be offended?
Myself, I´m not the person who needs to take every thing, that appears a bit odd to me, to a battle. How ever, I would probably wonder how this person was thinking making a comment like that. To me, there is no "lagom"/"just the right" type of skin color, and as silly as it sounds, what matters to me really is that mind and heart of yours. 

 Summer Vlog

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH5rXzbFUhc&list=UUKIf6uhkp0cP82-OW5u-lbQ

The smallest thing can make a difference

Last night there was a fire in the building next to me. At that time I didn´t know it was next to me though, so I decided to go up and down the stairs in my building to see if the smell and smoke came from where any of the elderly people are living in the house. Knowing that at least one of them lives alone and can´t walk very good, I didn´t want anyone to get hurt. 

What surprised me is that I was the only one doing so, and I´m not saying this to paint myself as a saint, (I´m not), more so to make people think that extra step. I was thinking about that I wish someone had done the same it being my grandmother when she was still alive and If not for anything else, only for the reason that next time it might be you that needs help.

Breaking the norm - not wanting children

When asked if I want to have children one day and I say "no" people usually reacts with surprise, especially when they find out my age. Of course they are to polite to question it straight out but I can see what they really are thinking, that I´m breaking the norm, that it´s weird and that I one day will regret this decision. To me on the other hand it´s more weird to have a child because it´s something I "should" do/have in my life. I know though that I´m not alone in thinking like this, due to non of my friends having children of their own yet.
Anyways, considering that I at times even think my dog takes up to much of my time, (sshh don´t tell her), I know having a child at this time would be disastrous. For now I´m therefor quite content being a cool aunt to my sister child.

It´s ugly to have money, it´s ugly to not have money

Still in school, 12 years back, I had ended up in a class with very strong minded people, especially when it came to politics and money.
One day when we were chilling, waiting for one of our classes to start, we discussed what we had gotten for Christmas, (when thinking back on things, maybe I should have lied, but first of all I am not a good lier and secondly why should I have to?).  Anyways, I stated that I got like 400 dollar something as a gift of my parents. The reaction I got, I could never have imagined, some of my classmates stated "that is simply wrong", "I don´t  think you should have gotten that" etc.
Funny is, that this was the same people who thought some clothes were nice looking just because it was of a high fashion brand. I still remember sporting a yellow hoody of a high fashion brand and they going "oh what a nice hoody, I want that", (note that they never commented on anything I was wearing when it was of a simple H&M brand).
Back then I learned, that money isn´t the best thing to discuses with people you don´t know well.

 Not being scared of living - trusting other people

Like a child burning their hand on the stove, learning not to ever do that again, it´s easy to avoid other situations in adulthood the same way.

Something came up with my partner, something similar to what have hurt me in the past, and I could have chosen to run from it, but I didn´t.

How do you live a life, not being afraid of being hurt? I can just tell how I do it. I choice to live in the present, and trusting every new person I meet until they have proven me otherwise, (of course with in reasonable limits). How do I keep myself to this? I just do, that´s how strongly I feel about it, my will is one of the strongest things I have, I choice to steer my mind a certain way. This is´nt the simplest thing to do, I know so, but with practice it will work.

Side not, I do not have any doubts regarding my partner or the relationship I´m in. I know my man would never do anything to hurt me, or I would not have mentioned this here at all. 

I simply wish for everyone to be able to live a life where they are not scared of being hurt and enjoy every day.

"He wore pink jail slippers"

The other week when I was on my way to meet up with my sister, a young man approached me and asked where the train station might be. I pointed him the right direction and not thinking he had something else to ask I looked down to my phone to finish a text message I just had started typing. That´s  when I hear the young mans voice again, I look up and realize he is now walking beside me as if we were acquaintances. He says: so I´ve just been there for 3 days straight and points to the police station. 

I honestly had no idea they keep people over night there, I thought it was only offices, and he must have seen the surprise in my face because that´s when he points down to the pair of pink slippers he is sporting, stating "they gave me these". Anyways, after that he kept walking beside me to the train station as we now were friends, telling me where he was traveling and such. 

Does things like this happen to you guys, or is it just me? Cause, to me this is quite common, random people striking up random conversations.

Gamer Girl - Roles Reversed

Yes, I´m one of those girls that like to play games, especially League of Legends and Minecraft. 

I laugh a bit to myself about this since my boyfriend does not play games, not that I know of at least. It´s like roles reversed in comparison to many other relationships. I´ve female friends who complain about their men sitting and playing games and that they just can´t understand how that is any fun. 

In my mind, I for some reason figured my partner would be a gamer, maybe that´s the reason to why when I the first time approached my man  asked him to play League of Legends with me, (he hated it, don´t ask me on how to pick up men, I´ve no idea. haha). I must say that, I prefer it this way, I do like that we have different interests.

(Btw isn´t the subject line for this post a bit thought provoking in it self, or is that just me?)

A love story

Seven months ago, I meet the man of my life. There was an instant connection, a feeling of finally finding home, two energy's meeting and fusing together as a unit. I feel weightless and I am excited for what the future has to bring.